How Big of a TOOL Are You?

Last week, the 8th grader who shadowed me at work told me no one calls each other tools anymore, and that I should probably just delete this. Thanks Braden, you were right. Ever walk away from a conversation wondering, “Was I being a tool?” Or the slightly more aware: “Boy, I wonder how big of a tool I…

9 Things I Don’t Miss About Being a Kid

^^Laugh at children. We are superior. There are many things to miss about childhood: Naps, Flintstone Vitamins, and predictable body functions to name a few. There are also 9 things we should all be glad died young. BOOM. And they’re below. Asking for Snacks Growing up, every time I wanted to shove a Ho Ho down my pie hole…

#BadStartUps: Kit Men

Has your cat only burned through 6 of its 9 lives? Would your quality of life improve if Scooter was 6-feet under? Feel guilty about killing your cat with your own cold, dead hands? Well shut up and grab some mittens—it’s time to call the Kit Men. **Now that I have you attention, this post…

Operation Roommate—10 Reasons We’re a Perfect Match

Guys, #TotalEmergency. In 2 short months my roommate is dead to me flying the Cincinnati coop, totally trading down for a life in CLEVELAND. Are you KIDDING?? You’re probably wondering, “what does this mean for me?” Nothing, unless you want to CHANGE YOUR LIFE and live with me: Christian Richard “Little Dickie” Jaekle! To help you…

2016—Make a Comeback, Make Your Enemies Cry.

The New Year means everybody is all about making a “comeback”—exercise more, save money, be present —sounds exhausting. Defend yourself from “new year, new you” syndrome with these conversational comebacks that’ll keep your lifestyle complacent and your loved ones off your case. 1) “Eat healthier” – Your Doctor “I’m gaining weight for an upcoming movie……

Black Friday Boycott – 7 DIY Gifts for MEN

Men, Are you SICK and TIRED of being underestimated for your crafting ability? Me nether. Women have gotten away with giving DIY gifts, or gifts of time, for years – it’s time we stop throwing our Benjamins into a black hole . This year,  put down your wallet and pick up some crayons, a hairdryer, and…

How to Fake Being a Real Adult: Domestication

Did you pull one of these the second you moved into a new apartment? ^^ Didn’t take me very long to regret taking this photo. If you answered, “YES!” continue reading. If you answered “NO.” click elsewhere, and QUICK. Post-graduate living is a proverbial BEAST. After spending two years in the dorms and two years…