^^Laugh at children. We are superior. There are many things to miss about childhood: Naps, Flintstone Vitamins, and predictable body functions to name a few. There are also 9 things we should all be glad died young. BOOM. And they’re below. Asking for Snacks Growing up, every time I wanted to shove a Ho Ho down my pie hole…
#BadStartUps: Kit Men
Has your cat only burned through 6 of its 9 lives? Would your quality of life improve if Scooter was 6-feet under? Feel guilty about killing your cat with your own cold, dead hands? Well shut up and grab some mittens—it’s time to call the Kit Men. **Now that I have you attention, this post…
Operation Roommate—10 Reasons We’re a Perfect Match
Guys, #TotalEmergency. In 2 short months my roommate is dead to me flying the Cincinnati coop, totally trading down for a life in CLEVELAND. Are you KIDDING?? You’re probably wondering, “what does this mean for me?” Nothing, unless you want to CHANGE YOUR LIFE and live with me: Christian Richard “Little Dickie” Jaekle! To help you…
2016—Make a Comeback, Make Your Enemies Cry.
The New Year means everybody is all about making a “comeback”—exercise more, save money, be present —sounds exhausting. Defend yourself from “new year, new you” syndrome with these conversational comebacks that’ll keep your lifestyle complacent and your loved ones off your case. 1) “Eat healthier” – Your Doctor “I’m gaining weight for an upcoming movie……
Black Friday Boycott – 7 DIY Gifts for MEN
Men, Are you SICK and TIRED of being underestimated for your crafting ability? Me nether. Women have gotten away with giving DIY gifts, or gifts of time, for years – it’s time we stop throwing our Benjamins into a black hole . This year, put down your wallet and pick up some crayons, a hairdryer, and…
How to Fake Being a Real Adult: Domestication
Did you pull one of these the second you moved into a new apartment? ^^ Didn’t take me very long to regret taking this photo. If you answered, “YES!” continue reading. If you answered “NO.” click elsewhere, and QUICK. Post-graduate living is a proverbial BEAST. After spending two years in the dorms and two years…
How to Fake Being a Real Adult: Vegatation
As a proud owner of a meal plan for all 4 years of college I find it quite difficult to masticate three meals a day without breaking the bank or getting pissed off. It’s not that I’m a terrible cook it’s just that: ^^ 5:01 every day. The last thing I want to do when I get home…
How to Fake Being a Real Adult: Socialization
It’s terrifying waking up in the morning and realizing you’re BALLS deep in the real world. ^^ 5:01 Every Day For those who are still receiving their schooling or are too old to remember, post graduate life is kind of like being college kid. WITH MONEY. New friend Danny and I were sharing a laugh…
Disown Your Comfort Zone [#BreakTheRULES]
If you told my Harris-lunchin’, fist-bumpin’ self Freshman year that upon graduation I would have worshipped the moon with dozens of witches, dated a man, recreated an MTV dating reality show, and hit up a nude beach in Spain, l probably would have tried to make an example out of you by ripping your heart…
Uber for Gübers: Bartering for Wagon Rides on Campus [#BreakTheRules]
^^Ride or die, mother lovers. We have been fleeing campus to break the rules for several weeks and it is time to bring the comfort-zone squashing back home. It’s pretty easy to do something outrageous if you know you’re never going to see someone again. IT’S TIME TO BE FREAKS WITHIN OUR COMMUNITY. After telling everyone and…
The Mingle by Christian 