Men, Are you SICK and TIRED of being underestimated for your crafting ability? Me nether. Women have gotten away with giving DIY gifts, or gifts of time, for years – it’s time we stop throwing our Benjamins into a black hole . This year, put down your wallet and pick up some crayons, a hairdryer, and a Pinterest account.
Paralyzed in FEAR? Relax your sphincter with these 7 ‘Do It Yourself’ gifts even men can pull off.
For Little Sisters: Literally Anything in a Mason Jar
^^ Is that a horse biome?
Show Little Sally you care by shoving her favorite stuff into a trendy jar. Girls go gaga over these things, it’s the new ship in a bottle. Candles, cakes, your grandmother’s ashes, they all fit in mason jars.
For Little Brothers: An Older Brother’s Love & Guidance
^^ Me after Faith Cahoon didn’t dance with me.
Ignore your lil bro’s request for a new baseball mitt or the latest video game and give him a stack of papers he won’t appreciate until he’s older. Tips like, “Don’t cry at the middle school dance,” is advice I wish I had in print when I was 11. COUGH. End your rambling with, “You’ll thank me someday.” Because that’ll make him totally not hate you.
For Mom: Highly-Contrived Book Letters
^^ Also works with Kindle and Kindle Fire HD.
Remind your mom of her initials by hacking one of her favorite books into an illegible heap. Hey, she’s getting older, she may appreciate the gesture someday.
For Dad: A Ring for Your Girlfriend
^^ Make sure to keep it SUPER casual like these two!
Finally make Dad proud of you by putting a ring on that girl you’ve been dating for 5 weeks. Plus, once you’re married you can do ‘it’ yourself! Getting Dad off your case is kind of like a gift in itself.
For the GF: Melted Wax A Crayon Canvas
^^ This is actually kind of terrifying.
Not ready to enslave yourself? Show Karen you’re sensitive by melting crayons with her hair dryer when she’s out cheating on you with her friends. The one above is great because it uses masculine colors like gunmetal and black so you can keep your man card.
For Your Broseidon: A Self-Produced D.O.P.E. Track
Profess your man-love to your main brobot by recording a CERTIFIED BANGER just for him. He’ll feel weird about it now; you’ll feel weird about it later. Spoiler alert: This season, everyone’s getting a CD single of THIS song I made freshmen year with my roomie-for-life, Chris Pipes. He’s married now. #REPLACED.
For the Wild Card: A Glitter Party
^^ Take all the fun of Ke$ha right out of rehab and into their living room.
Someone on your list spiking your blood pressure? I’ve used these guys more than once.
This Month’s Jaekle Jam:
Cheers,
Christian
Do not cut up my books into my initials…
Love you,
Mom