Things Animals Do That People Should Too

Let me be the first to inform you: I’ve been to the zoo a few times. After each visit, I’m left in a dissociative state, quietly crooning, “whHhhy, oh wHhhHhy caAaaAn’t IIIII?” Don’t get me wrong, credit card debt is a blast—but wouldn’t you rather sit in your mom’s pouch? Don’t answer that. Just to add insult…

Hot Slang You Should Use in 2017

When was the last time you sunk your teeth into a new, juicy piece of slang? BARF. Since most us are unwilling to jump jogger-first into #TEENWORLD, it’s time to just start making stuff up. Hand-picked using 3 sets of Bananagrams and a cursed Yahtzee cup, these 5 words are sure to make 2017 “totally lit.” Kumquat…

I Found Myself at a Women’s Conference

  I’ve always been a huge advocate for making myself uncomfortable, it’s the only way to grow, and it’s the only way to stretch your heart.  And honestly, I’ve been doing a terrible job of that lately—until last week. The 3% Conference is a woman’s conference. The main goal is to equalize the ratio of…

Cool New Ways to Be Affectionate

Aren’t you just SO tired of quenching your need for physical touch in the same stupid ways?  Like, would somebody get some innovation over here please? Holding hands: Dumb. Fist bumps: No good. Making out: UGH so BOoOooooRRRiiNNNgGgG. It’s time to show the world you’re a creative lover—without turning your bedroom into a fair. Cause… After…

How Cincinnati Works

According to a recent study, conducted at the Red’s Stadium, sample size: 6 Cincinnati is by far the best city in Ohio. But for every cheese coney, there’s a dark secret: AKA a bunch of stuff I just DON’T get. So let’s navigate each quirk together—and just because I’m pointing them out doesn’t mean we should try to fix them….

How Big of a TOOL Are You?

Last week, the 8th grader who shadowed me at work told me no one calls each other tools anymore, and that I should probably just delete this. Thanks Braden, you were right. Ever walk away from a conversation wondering, “Was I being a tool?” Or the slightly more aware: “Boy, I wonder how big of a tool I…

9 Things I Don’t Miss About Being a Kid

^^Laugh at children. We are superior. There are many things to miss about childhood: Naps, Flintstone Vitamins, and predictable body functions to name a few. There are also 9 things we should all be glad died young. BOOM. And they’re below. Asking for Snacks Growing up, every time I wanted to shove a Ho Ho down my pie hole…