“Christian, don’t you think that title’s a little redundant?” – Graham Bowling “NO.” – The Public This fall has been a total romp. Alright, already. And by total romp, I mean I wore a powder blue, men’s jumper to Lebanon’s 35th Annual Country Applefest. Was that smart? Nope. Did I lose a bet? Yep. It…
Category: DEBAUCHERY
Hot Slang You Should Use in 2017
When was the last time you sunk your teeth into a new, juicy piece of slang? BARF. Since most us are unwilling to jump jogger-first into #TEENWORLD, it’s time to just start making stuff up. Hand-picked using 3 sets of Bananagrams and a cursed Yahtzee cup, these 5 words are sure to make 2017 “totally lit.” Kumquat…
Cool New Ways to Be Affectionate
Aren’t you just SO tired of quenching your need for physical touch in the same stupid ways? Like, would somebody get some innovation over here please? Holding hands: Dumb. Fist bumps: No good. Making out: UGH so BOoOooooRRRiiNNNgGgG. It’s time to show the world you’re a creative lover—without turning your bedroom into a fair. Cause… After…
How Big of a TOOL Are You?
Last week, the 8th grader who shadowed me at work told me no one calls each other tools anymore, and that I should probably just delete this. Thanks Braden, you were right. Ever walk away from a conversation wondering, “Was I being a tool?” Or the slightly more aware: “Boy, I wonder how big of a tool I…
9 Things I Don’t Miss About Being a Kid
^^Laugh at children. We are superior. There are many things to miss about childhood: Naps, Flintstone Vitamins, and predictable body functions to name a few. There are also 9 things we should all be glad died young. BOOM. And they’re below. Asking for Snacks Growing up, every time I wanted to shove a Ho Ho down my pie hole…
The Mingle by Christian 